What is Self-Love?
There are so many people who want self-love. There's so much research on it. If you put it in Google, it’s defined as: “Regard for one's own well being and happiness. Chiefly considered a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic.” – which is really good, right? But will it get you to that place of self-love? Another definition of self-love: “A state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own wellbeing and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your wellbeing to please others.” Again, it sounds really good. But it's impossible.
Self-love is an internal state of being not an external state of being.
All these definitions are outside of who you are. If you're trying to define who you are, or trying to gravitate to something that's outside of you to create self-love internally, the math just doesn't add up. In the XI world, love is well defined, there's a formula for love. It's not fuzzy, it's very specific and it's not dictated by anything that you do or anybody else does for you, or to you, or you do to others. It's got nothing to do with that.
Why are so many people loveless, especially towards themselves? They love others, but they hate themselves. Why does that happen? How many times in this consciousness have you sacrificed yourself for love?
In the lower consciousness, love is dictated by how much you can give of yourself to that other person or to that cause. The more you give of yourself, you're basically subtracting from yourself what you're supposed to be loving. It sounds beautiful, it's very romantic, but it never works out. It will never pan out, you'll never find love the way they describe it.
So how do you get to self-love? It probably has nothing to do with what you’ve ever imagined. Self-love comes from space-time. Let me explain: XI is all about being in space and time, it's all about understanding your frequencies and where you are in space and time. Once you understand this concept, you don't have to reach out anywhere. You don't have to go anywhere for self-love. You will love yourself where you are, no matter what situation you're in. Again, you do not have to go anywhere, do anything or be anybody to experience self-love.
Imagine your spirit - I call it your timeless being - which dictates your reality here. You have your timeless being and you have your timebound being.
The self-love that you are looking for is the proximity of your timebound being to your timeless being. As you get closer and closer and closer, you're going to feel more love for yourself.
It's got nothing to do with how much money you make, how little money you make, how you've been abused, all those things. It's got nothing to do with anything physical here. It is literally about the proximity of how you identify yourself in space-time. How you create or where you create your timeless being and then your timebound being. The closer you are, the more self-love you have.
At the lower consciousness levels, there is no purity in love because here you're in a consciousness that dictates that you have to sacrifice yourself for love, that you have to control or be controlled for love and that you have to create lack for love.
If you look at romance novels, if you look up any self-improvement methods, it's all about those three ingredients: sacrifice, control and lack. You can never experience self-love in that consciousness. The only way is to raise your consciousness and experience love the way you should: by elevating yourself to a higher level of consciousness where all the distortions between your timeless identity and your timebound identity are gone.
As your timeless and timebound selves merge as one, you become singular. Then there is no self-love any more, that disappears and you just experience love. You are Love, you resonate Love.
You don't have to abuse, you don't have to destroy, you don't have to control. The best way to self-love, is to understand who you are at a higher level and understand your timeless being that creates you. Most individuals look only at their physical being - at their timebound identity as real, and then their timeless being as a theory, something out there that a God would have to control or dictate for them. It never works out that way.
Once you merge into that oneness, like I said, it becomes just Love - singular. This is where you can feel the singularity effect – the I AM state. What’s even more beautiful, you start to emanate love around you, and then the people around you feel and experience and can share that love with you, without destroying yourself. Once you understand the connection, that you don't need anybody else, then you can be with others and you won't get destroyed, you won't get distorted and you're not sacrificing yourself.
You emanate constant love, and just by being with others you share that love more and more. That's all you have to do. Because it's a space of singularity, you just are, and others start to come into their own understanding of what self-love is about.
That's how you transform the world.
Related Meditation: Self-Love Frequency Meditation